This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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