Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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