I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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