Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Barsexuality is the new black.
someone owes me an orgasm
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
