he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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