Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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