I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
