wake up i wanna do it froggy style
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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