Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
