Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
