both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
