im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
He kissed a someone with a penis
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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