he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize