I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
