spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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