And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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