he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
