I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
