Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize