How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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