Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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