Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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