what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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