Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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