marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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