just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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