i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize