I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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