last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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