i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
