Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize