I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Randomize
