if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
