I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
be right there i have to get my cape
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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