Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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