he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Dicks are not precious.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
