im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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