the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
