Kareoke will never be a sober sport
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
