I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
