my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
