Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
