so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
