And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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