if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
