Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
