We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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