Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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