I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
