Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
