Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
