I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
