Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
