laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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