i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize