I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
