I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
