Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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