Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
oh god was she eating orange peels again
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
