I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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