i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
