'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
